Well...I don't know how much of a true "feminist" I have ever portrayed myself as...if at all, but the last year's worth of experiences - from work to personal relationships - have seriously gotten the wheels in my convoluted brain churning and the desire to do more.
Having had the opportunity to work with LUNA Bar.
Hosting LUNAFEST.
Working with women groups all across the UC Berkeley campus.
Having had the opportunity to work within the Gender Equity Resource Center.
Spending an absurd amount of time with my strong-headed aunt, patient and incredibly anxious mother, and my giving little sister...and of course...the endless talks about relationships and love with my best girlfriends.
Taking the time to focus on MY body. Making it stronger inside and out. Physically. Mentally. Amongst other women. For who? For me. No...not for you. For ME.
And now...working with the March of Dimes...an organization that focuses first and foremost on the mother and her child.
Somehow I'd like to be more involved within the community of empowering women physically and mentally and helping each other realize that we should NEVER need to depend on anyone else in our lives to make us truly happy. To find respect, comfort, and beauty in our own doings.
Affection is beautiful. Dependence?...is the bane of our existence!
So...I start with this note: "Womyn." We have the greatest potential to create beauty - from the soul which permeates through our bodies and the community.
And on that note...go watch the Vagina Monologues this year somewhere. Riveting.
Oh, and now that you've finished reading this post, please enjoy the following:
Ruby Veridiano-Ching "Pretty"
India Arie's "Video"
=)
Sunday, February 21, 2010
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
"Mr. Right Now"?
This excerpt of an article that popped up on CNN Lifestyle this morning poses a question to my inner "Go-Girl" self. This isn't typically one of the usual things I'd post on my happy blog, but I'd be interested to see what other people think about this. Feel free to comment and debate if you so chose. (Particularly the last paragraph).
"Should You Settle for Mr. Right Now?", Lori Gottlieb
In conclusion, personally...I think Lori makes a good point regarding the fact that "no one is perfect".
But...I'm only 24! So, for now...I have the right to be choosy and to experience more different types of loves, and most importantly to develop myself into what I feel to be my very best! "Life is TOO short to be partially happy!"
As for "settling" for the "Mr. (or Ms.) Enough" at one point of your life...it depends on when and whether you truly want to be married or not.
If you feel the NEED to be settled and married ASAP, then SURE...you will probably end up "settling". I mean...that's why the terminology was coined, right?
And that's probably why most people DO end up "settling" at some pre-determined age penciled in by society. Because our friends and family around us are getting married and you're like "crap! must settle!" or "awwww...I want that, NOW, too!!!"
But I think ultimately, the key to truly being happy with another is to know yourself completely first. Then...you're not "settling", you're "accepting".
You both are truly happy with each other for exactly who you are and loving every single ounce of each other - the sexyness and the faults!
And to get to that stage of making a decision that concrete, you're certainly going to have to be well aware of your wants and needs...and most importantly yourself.
Ultimately, it all comes down to your ability to understand your feelings and happiness level. Also...I think the more logical you are, the less you feel with your heart. Call it "wishy washy", but it's true.
And that, my friend, requires a mélange of intense self-love and empathy for your fellow human beings.
"Should You Settle for Mr. Right Now?", Lori Gottlieb
.........................
"Gottlieb interviewed an array of experts -- sociologists, behavioral economists, social psychologists, and statisticians -- who presented evidence about...why women are fundamentally the choosier sex.
There are so many really wonderful men out there, men who want commitment, who want to be married, who are attractive and smart and interesting," Gottlieb says. "They may not be movie-star attractive, they may be awkward at first, they may not fit our cultural image of who Mr. Right or who Prince Charming is. But we shouldn't pass them up. Look what happened to me."
What happened to Gottlieb?
Educated and independent, she is gorgeous, vivacious, and sharply witty. She went to Stanford Medical School; she has written several books, two of which have been optioned by Hollywood. In other words, she is such a fantastic catch that she assumed she would never have to settle, that a Superhusband -- romantic, brilliant, baggage-free -- would emerge from the ether and sweep her into an eternally fulfilling marriage.
But, she says, she missed the boat -- several times -- by focusing on potential mates' flaws and expecting too much. Now 42, she has a 4-year-old son, courtesy of a sperm donor.
"We are taught as young women in this culture that compromise is a bad word," she says. "We tell each other: 'You go, girl. You get the best. You deserve the best.' It's not so much narcissism as a false cultural perception of our worth. We want the ten, because we think we're a ten. But we're missing the fact that we're not. Nobody is. Men have flaws, but we have flaws, too."
..............In conclusion, personally...I think Lori makes a good point regarding the fact that "no one is perfect".
But...I'm only 24! So, for now...I have the right to be choosy and to experience more different types of loves, and most importantly to develop myself into what I feel to be my very best! "Life is TOO short to be partially happy!"
As for "settling" for the "Mr. (or Ms.) Enough" at one point of your life...it depends on when and whether you truly want to be married or not.
If you feel the NEED to be settled and married ASAP, then SURE...you will probably end up "settling". I mean...that's why the terminology was coined, right?
And that's probably why most people DO end up "settling" at some pre-determined age penciled in by society. Because our friends and family around us are getting married and you're like "crap! must settle!" or "awwww...I want that, NOW, too!!!"
But I think ultimately, the key to truly being happy with another is to know yourself completely first. Then...you're not "settling", you're "accepting".
You both are truly happy with each other for exactly who you are and loving every single ounce of each other - the sexyness and the faults!
And to get to that stage of making a decision that concrete, you're certainly going to have to be well aware of your wants and needs...and most importantly yourself.
Ultimately, it all comes down to your ability to understand your feelings and happiness level. Also...I think the more logical you are, the less you feel with your heart. Call it "wishy washy", but it's true.
And that, my friend, requires a mélange of intense self-love and empathy for your fellow human beings.
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
"Live Like We're Dying"
It's time for another inspirational song post!
"Live Like We're Dying", Kris Allen.
Sometimes we fall down and can't get back up
We're hiding behind skin that's too tough
How come we don't say I love you enough
Till it's too late, it's not too late
Our hearts are hungry for a food that won't come
We could make a feast from these crumbs
And we're all staring down the barrel of a gun
So if your life flashed before you, what would you wish you would've done
Yeah, gotta start
Looking at the hand of the time we've been given here
This is all we got and we gotta start thinkin' it
Every second counts on a clock that's tickin'
Gotta live like we're dying
We only got 86 400 seconds in a day
To turn it all around or throw it all away
We gotta tell 'em that we love 'em while we got the chance to say,
Gotta live like we're dying
And if your plane fell out of the skies
Who would you call with your last goodbyes
Should be so careful who we leave out of our lives
So when we long for absolution, there'll be no one on the line
Yeah, gotta start
Looking at the hand of the time we've been given here
This is all we got and we gotta start thinkin' it
Every second counts on a clock that's tickin'
Gotta live like we're dying
We only got 86 400 seconds in a day
To turn it all around or throw it all away
We gotta tell 'em that we love 'em while we got the chance to say,
Gotta live like we're dying
Like we're dying
Like we're dying
Like we're dying
Like we're dying
Yeah, gotta start
Looking at the hand of the time we've been given here
This is all we got and we gotta start thinkin' it
Every second counts on a clock that's tickin'
Gotta live like we're dying
We only got 86 400 seconds in a day
To turn it all around or throw it all away
We gotta tell 'em that we love 'em while we got the chance to say,
Gotta live like we're dying
You never know a good thing until it's gone
You never see a crash until it's head on
All these people right when we're dead wrong,
You never know a good thing till it's gone
Yeah, gotta start
Looking at the hand of the time we've been given here
This is all we got and we gotta start thinkin' it
Every second counts on a clock that's tickin'
Gotta live like we're dying
We only got 86 400 seconds in a day
To turn it all around or throw it all away
We gotta tell 'em that we love 'em while we got the chance to say,
Gotta live like we're dying
Like we're dying
Like we're dying
Like we're dying
Like we're dying
Yeah, gotta start
Looking at the hand of the time we've been given here
This is all we got and we gotta start thinkin' it
Every second counts on a clock that's tickin'
Gotta live like we're dying
We only got 86 400 seconds in a day
To turn it all around or throw it all away
We gotta tell 'em that we love 'em while we got the chance to say,
Gotta live like we're dying
"Live Like We're Dying", Kris Allen.
Sometimes we fall down and can't get back up
We're hiding behind skin that's too tough
How come we don't say I love you enough
Till it's too late, it's not too late
Our hearts are hungry for a food that won't come
We could make a feast from these crumbs
And we're all staring down the barrel of a gun
So if your life flashed before you, what would you wish you would've done
Yeah, gotta start
Looking at the hand of the time we've been given here
This is all we got and we gotta start thinkin' it
Every second counts on a clock that's tickin'
Gotta live like we're dying
We only got 86 400 seconds in a day
To turn it all around or throw it all away
We gotta tell 'em that we love 'em while we got the chance to say,
Gotta live like we're dying
And if your plane fell out of the skies
Who would you call with your last goodbyes
Should be so careful who we leave out of our lives
So when we long for absolution, there'll be no one on the line
Yeah, gotta start
Looking at the hand of the time we've been given here
This is all we got and we gotta start thinkin' it
Every second counts on a clock that's tickin'
Gotta live like we're dying
We only got 86 400 seconds in a day
To turn it all around or throw it all away
We gotta tell 'em that we love 'em while we got the chance to say,
Gotta live like we're dying
Like we're dying
Like we're dying
Like we're dying
Like we're dying
Yeah, gotta start
Looking at the hand of the time we've been given here
This is all we got and we gotta start thinkin' it
Every second counts on a clock that's tickin'
Gotta live like we're dying
We only got 86 400 seconds in a day
To turn it all around or throw it all away
We gotta tell 'em that we love 'em while we got the chance to say,
Gotta live like we're dying
You never know a good thing until it's gone
You never see a crash until it's head on
All these people right when we're dead wrong,
You never know a good thing till it's gone
Yeah, gotta start
Looking at the hand of the time we've been given here
This is all we got and we gotta start thinkin' it
Every second counts on a clock that's tickin'
Gotta live like we're dying
We only got 86 400 seconds in a day
To turn it all around or throw it all away
We gotta tell 'em that we love 'em while we got the chance to say,
Gotta live like we're dying
Like we're dying
Like we're dying
Like we're dying
Like we're dying
Yeah, gotta start
Looking at the hand of the time we've been given here
This is all we got and we gotta start thinkin' it
Every second counts on a clock that's tickin'
Gotta live like we're dying
We only got 86 400 seconds in a day
To turn it all around or throw it all away
We gotta tell 'em that we love 'em while we got the chance to say,
Gotta live like we're dying
Sunday, February 7, 2010
"What Makes Women Happy"
I came upon this article via a friend's facebook (yay for newsfeed) and it's prompted me to share it with the rest of the world as well.
"What Makes Women Happy". Posted by Tiffany O'Callaghan
Article Focus: How women can cultivate happiness. (Based on several 'happiness' journals. Go figure! Look at this journal =P).
Highlights:
"What Makes Women Happy". Posted by Tiffany O'Callaghan
Article Focus: How women can cultivate happiness. (Based on several 'happiness' journals. Go figure! Look at this journal =P).
Highlights:
- "One thing that blocks [happiness] flow is self-consciousness. If you're really worried or anxious about whether you're achieving it, then it's not going to work for you...So, it's important to look at the things that are causing us anxiety. Some of those things we're not going to be able to do as much about, but some of them we can."
Thoughts: To be happier, I need to avoid negative people and situations in my life that makes me feel like shit.
- "...a lot of women make choices based on how they saw their mother's choices working out, how they saw the choices of the women elders in their lives working out. There's some rebellion in that, but there's also some deep reflection."
Thoughts: The deep reflection referred to here, I feel...requires analyzing generational and cultural differences, too. But, obviously, it's so hard to be able to separate it all when your greatest role model is right THERE.
- "...happiness [defined] as the capacity to rejoice in the midst of suffering...Finding joy in the midst of suffering is always going to be the key."
Thoughts: C'est la vie. Makes you more grateful for the things you do have... - "the simple fact of concentrating on their own happiness, and paying attention to their own happiness actually increased their sense of well being"
Thoughts: Focus on the positive! - "people who regularly express gratitude...are generally more content."
Thoughts: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cbk980jV7Ao
- "If we really do need a place to vent, that can be helpful, but I don't think it improves our mood that much to make a habit of just letting out our negative emotions."
Thoughts: I agree 110% Thus this blog. My blog is now validated. Thank you.
- "Finally, you decide, OK, maybe I am a dork, and maybe that's OK."
Thoughts: Dorks FTW!
True Love
Define "True Love."
True Love: The ability to appreciate someone for all that they are...no matter what.
I wanted to take this year to truly focus on myself, family, and true friends.
And through my close friends (you know who you are)...I have finally learned what TRUE LOVE really is.
I am sure I've written a gabigillion entries on this already...but I wanted to take the time once again to thank my close friends...you know who you are...for your true love.
My friends...are genuine.
Quirky.
Weird.
Off-the charts.
Sweet.
Beautiful.
Loving.
Giving.
Understanding.
Amazing listeners.
Greatest hug givers.
Affectionate.
Gushy.
Unique.
Strange.
Lovable.
Open-minded.
Open-armed.
Lions and lionesses.
Honest.
Hard-working.
Perserving.
Determined.
There for you when you need them...
There for you when you don't need them...
Genuine genuine genuine genuine.
Thank you for loving all of me...the witty and the shitty.
I love you guys SO much. Every single bit of you.
You deserve the very best. Just for being you.
I love you SO SO SO SO SO SO MUCH.
True Love: The ability to appreciate someone for all that they are...no matter what.
I wanted to take this year to truly focus on myself, family, and true friends.
And through my close friends (you know who you are)...I have finally learned what TRUE LOVE really is.
I am sure I've written a gabigillion entries on this already...but I wanted to take the time once again to thank my close friends...you know who you are...for your true love.
My friends...are genuine.
Quirky.
Weird.
Off-the charts.
Sweet.
Beautiful.
Loving.
Giving.
Understanding.
Amazing listeners.
Greatest hug givers.
Affectionate.
Gushy.
Unique.
Strange.
Lovable.
Open-minded.
Open-armed.
Lions and lionesses.
Honest.
Hard-working.
Perserving.
Determined.
There for you when you need them...
There for you when you don't need them...
Genuine genuine genuine genuine.
Thank you for loving all of me...the witty and the shitty.
I love you guys SO much. Every single bit of you.
You deserve the very best. Just for being you.
I love you SO SO SO SO SO SO MUCH.
Saturday, February 6, 2010
There is hope.
A friend once told me, "There's a blue sky above the clouds."
Probably the best way someone has ever phrased positivity with such a simplistic metaphor.
Quite often...people are perplexed by why I smile so often...so much.
Maybe it's the happiness within Kiwanis that has engraved its optimism within my soul for the last 10 years.
No...that can't be it. Just part of it. Because my cousin tells me she's been playing the "I bet you can't stop smiling!" game with me since way back when.
Hmmm...
I dunno. But regardless...stuff happens...
Things beyond your control. Things that you may have had control over, but somehow slipped...
Mistakes. With serious consequences.
And when crap like that happens...will you still have the courage to smile?
Your life can change in an instant.
But...deep down inside...I'm still the same person. Right?
Just...wiser? Been there. Done that. Resilient.
On the bright side of things...through these tough situations, you realize who your true friends are. Who's really going to be there for you when you don't have the power to smile anymore. The people who are really going to give you a reason to smile again...
And then of course, you start really thinking about the things and people that REALLY REALLY matter. Like, the important stuff in life you need to focus on.
*slow nod*
C'est la vie.
Life is too short to regret...but long enough to make smarter choices.
Probably the best way someone has ever phrased positivity with such a simplistic metaphor.
Quite often...people are perplexed by why I smile so often...so much.
Maybe it's the happiness within Kiwanis that has engraved its optimism within my soul for the last 10 years.
No...that can't be it. Just part of it. Because my cousin tells me she's been playing the "I bet you can't stop smiling!" game with me since way back when.
Hmmm...
I dunno. But regardless...stuff happens...
Things beyond your control. Things that you may have had control over, but somehow slipped...
Mistakes. With serious consequences.
And when crap like that happens...will you still have the courage to smile?
Your life can change in an instant.
But...deep down inside...I'm still the same person. Right?
Just...wiser? Been there. Done that. Resilient.
On the bright side of things...through these tough situations, you realize who your true friends are. Who's really going to be there for you when you don't have the power to smile anymore. The people who are really going to give you a reason to smile again...
And then of course, you start really thinking about the things and people that REALLY REALLY matter. Like, the important stuff in life you need to focus on.
*slow nod*
C'est la vie.
Life is too short to regret...but long enough to make smarter choices.
Wednesday, February 3, 2010
Things to do - as of today.
Things to look forward to. Things to accomplish:
"One should ... be able to see things as hopeless and yet be determined to make them otherwise." ~ F. Scott Fitzgerald
G'day.
- Take up yoga.
- Bake a mango cheesecake.
- Bake red velvet cupcakes.
- Make a real-deal chicken pot pie.
- Get a gym membership.
- Run along the Embarcadero before work.
- Visit my buddies (you know who you are) in SoCal.
- Move out of the house.
- Get 7-8 hours of sleep.
- Wake up before 9am to workout (even if I don't have work).
- Master the guitar...well...bar chords for now. =P
- Find that damn Creme Brulee cart in SF.
- Pay off my loans/debts (or atleast a good ass chunk of it)
- Get fit again. (And have my cake, too!)
- Progress professionally.
- Live more.
- Regret less.
- Truly appreciate my family, true friends, and myself.
"One should ... be able to see things as hopeless and yet be determined to make them otherwise." ~ F. Scott Fitzgerald
G'day.
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