A moment of content.

Dear World,

It's 8:40pm on a Friday night, and you can officially call me a coffee shop nomad.

Finished up my Wanderlust Recap at Jumpin Java along with my Chai Iced Tea.

Now, I'm sitting in Farley's on 18th between Missori and Texas...somewhere in the oh-so-beautiful San Francisco, by my own choice with... me, myself, and I.

(Thank you Amber and Aimee for helpin me find the place!)

Ate a Chocolate Chip Walnut Cookie with a cup o latte (latte art and all).

Just finished "Eat Pray Love" (GREAT book).

I am working 4 odd jobs...at random hours and random days.

Life is chaotic and my emotions have never been so all over the place.

But...Sam Cooke is singing "what a wonderful world this would be" in the background.

So, for now, I am content :).

Thank you for this moment.

Love,

Gail

A weekend of Namaste

Just got back from Wanderlust -- a yoga retreat held in Squaw Valley, CA. It was mostly for work, but I thankfully had the opportunity to embrace the atmosphere :). There's something intensely special about being in the middle of nature where your pure intention is to focus on your inner being.

With that said, I internalized quite a bit in the last 4 days (which somehow feels like a month...) and would like to share with you my newly discovered thoughts and revelations:

THOUGHTS:

1) "Stop waiting for happiness."
- So often in our lives we wait for the future to be happy. Whether it's that perfect job, relationship, special occasion, etc., we fixate on the tomorrow's and what is to come. But, we need to stop waiting. And seek happiness from within today. ~ Love Meditation

2) "60 seconds of being angry is 60 seconds you will never get back."
- The time you spend being angry at someone, stressed, or upset is better spent being relaxed and relieved. Breathe deeply. And let it go.

3) "Trust the energy. Lie back. And receive."
- Sometimes we try to give so much of our emotions to satisfy others. We are intuitively givers. You can search all over the world to find someone who is the most deserving of your intentions, but then you'll realize, that it's really yourself. Trust the energy -- and be the receiver for once.

SELF-REVELATIONS - Gail today: Epiphanies after 6 hours of driving, 4 days of yoga mantras, running at high altitudes (feelin like your lungs are gonna burst), eating uber well, working hard, and sleeping little:

1) I've got an old soul. Physically, I'm 24. Emotionally, I'm 34. And I love it :).

2) I'm idealistic and not very grounded in reality, and pretty darn proud to say it! Because I am capable of still holding onto it in a world where many have lost it. I've come to understand that life is not perfect and that shit constantly happens (and will continue to happen!), yet I NEED to believe that everything will be ok and that ultimately things happen for a reason. When I feel overwhelmed by my problems, I NEED to look up into the sky and realize that my problems are minuscule to those of the vast universe around me. I need to learn from my mistakes, traumas, and each and every experience and failure - I NEED to iinternalize them into something more beautiful and meaningful to me. This is how I cope. And to me, this is my 'ideal'.


3) I'm a home-body. Somehow staying up late and running a muck isn't that appealing to me anymore. Must be the old soul thing.

4) My greatest personal weakness is lack of patience. Which is the root of many, many things I need to polish up in my life.

5) I am in love with earthy people :). I am in love with one-on-one conversations about emotions, internal turmoil, and epiphanies.

6) These are my revelations as of today August 2, 2010 based on my experiences and the people whom I have connected with greatly in the last year. I may change in the next year with new experiences and people that I come across, and that's ok. I welcome it with open arms.

Evolution of my soul.

Summer Dance Music 2010

Well, it's officially Friday so might as well get the partEy (in my head) started!

Some good tunes to get ya in the groove:

• "I Like It", Enrique Iglesias ft. Pitbull: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X9_n8jakvWU
  
• "DJ Got Us Falling in Love Again", Usher ft. Pitbull: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oBhj-Tv4WHI
• "Dynamite", Taio Cruz: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b4EwFzg9r10
• "Somebody to Love - Remix", Justin Bieber ft. Usher: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SOI4OF7iIr4
• "La La La", Auburn: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y4-fuceJUmA

:) Enjoy

The point of quotes

You know all those sayings people have stored up their sleeves in the case that bad shit happens?

• "When the tough gets going, the going get tough."
• "Don't quit."
• "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger."
  
• "Everything happens for a reason."
• "Something so much better is in store."
• "When one door closes, another door opens."

They are quotes for a reason.

Supposedly they work. Otherwise why would people keep saying them?

So I'm gonna keep on believing in them.

And not quit.

Things could always be worst. Right?

Really. There's no use looking back if you gave it all you've got. And there's not much point in saying that "it's not fair" because well, no one ever said life was fair.

Just...need to cry it all out and move on with it.

Get over it. Resilience. Suck it up.

Don't waste your tears on things that don't deserve your time.

Save your energy for things that ARE willing to fight for you.

Because you're better than that. You KNOW it. You ROCK it.

Because you KNOW you're better than that.

Love is...

Love is...the ability to make someone's day infinitely better? The capacity to feel like you want to be there for someone through all their days, good and bad?

Some say that you can't love someone until you know yourself.

But, you know what?...will you EVER completely know yourself? We're constantly growing and our lives are constantly being shaped through each experience we gain. We never stop changing. So, how on earth could you ever completely know yourself let alone someone else?

Impossible. But what IS possible is being able to accept and feel that spark. That passion. That fire.

Why deny a feeling like that?

Why should something so profoundly simple to feel...be so complex to understand?

Maybe it's a naive thought. But what if...what if we just remembered why we fell in love in the first place. What if we just FELT it? What if we ignored all those "circumstances". What if we just let our emotions run wild?

All rules set aside. There are NO rules to this feeling.

You never really KNOW why. You just feel it. And then you just...let go. Your heart takes off like a speeding bullet. You can't stop it. It's gone. You can't control it. It's this unbelievable rush you get when no words are spoken.

And knowing that I can make your day infinitely better..take away your stress for the day...and the next. And the day after?

"Love as though you have never been hurt before..."

God has given me the ability to love over and over again...and though I know the repercussions of when things go wrong, I welcome it with open arms because I know how TRULY amazing it feels like when things go right.

If life is truly short, and we are to live for the moments, then I want to be able to love every single second.

Those little inspirational moments.

So. You know. I'm a pretty emotional person.

There are days I have these great highs. And then there are other days I have these great lows. And when you're in your mid-20's, live at home (or not), and are trying to decide on how exactly you'd like to shape you're life -- there seems to be ample time to think about this kinda stuff. So bear with me. There's a point to this rant.

I was talkin to my long lost penpal in Spain who lives my parallel life, but on the other side of the world the other day, and we came to the conclusion that it's better to have an erratic way of life than to say that "No sir, my life hasn't changed very much in the last 20 years."

Perhaps we are just obscure creatures who enjoy dwelling way too much on the "big picture" and titilating ourselves on the most mundane of life's mid-20's conundrums...but, yea! We down with it!

Needless to say I've had this super great natural high driving on my own to/from Sacramento for work this weekend, and I'd like to attest it to a few inspirational things I've only recently been able to internalize. Thus, in the name of my blog, I'd like to share them with you:

Natural High #1: My job with Clif Bar & Company & The Staff: You know, I don't think I ever wrote a post about Clif Bar (whom I've interned + part-timed with for just about 2 years now). And I've gotta state the obvious: i-n-s-p-i-r-a-t-i-o-n-a-l. From the product they make to how the business is run to the very core of it all: the employees. Super cool and truly a business with heart. What makes me say this? (No, it is not purely the reason that I would love like no other to work full-time for this company). Because of the staff they hire! They TRULY embody the brand and EVERYTIME I finish a Clif event, I feel the EXACT same high I get from finishing up a Circle K project.

You know...? That high at the end of a community service project/banquet/first gen/board retreat/etc. your team plans where you're workin side-by-side with your fellow CKI'ers? Like, you leave feeling really physically tired from doing some pretty hefty work of some sort, but you KNOW you've done some good in the world while getting to know and work with some genuinely awesome person. Because on some level they've inspired you on some level or another.

Point in case: This past weekend while working the Nike Women's Fitness Festival up in Sac, I stayed with my co-worker (+ her hubby + her 3 awesome dogs) in Davis. Needless to say this woman is SO COOL. For one thing, she lives in a castle!!! (Which she and her husband built together -- aww kinda moment). Second thing, she has 3 lovable dogs (a pug, beagle, and german sherpard! -- another awww moment). Third, she and her husband get up every Saturday at 5am in the morning to go running!!!!!!!

Together with her hubby, they cycle, run, play tennis, do yoga, and so much more! AND she makes kick-ass oatmeal!!! (Along side the fact that she is simply a wonderful person to talk to about relationships and life). She's so chill, easy-going, and hospitable.

My co-worker makes me wanna go to sleep at 10pm on Friday nights, just so I can go workout hardcore every wee hour Saturday morning, too.

Inspirationally active.

LOVE IT.

But yes...gosh, people like some Clif staff people just blow your mind.

Natural High #2: Mom
My mom is crazy. And if any of my siblings are reading this I'm pretty sure I'm gonna get scoffed at or made uber fun of later...but honest to God, I really love my mom.

Because she's nuts. She has the ability to guilt trip like NO freakin other. The ability to make me cry. To make me feel horrible about myself and want to rip my hair out. She pushes all of my buttons and there are times that I feel so incredibly angry at her for being so freakin attached to my dad. And I constantly argue with her and she NEVER has any justifiable reason for anything except "because I said so", but you know what?

She also has the power to make me laugh in the middle of crying over a stupid argument. She'll come into my room and be the BIGGEST dork ever. She'll grab my tiara (don't ask why I have one...), put it on her head and start making funny faces at me just to make me laugh for no good reason. She can spend the ENTIRE day cooking up a storm (You would NEVER go hungry in my house).

She's the true definition of patience, genuinely lovable, and whoever I chose to marry one day would be so lucky to have a mother-in-law like my mother.

Because she's a lovable nutcase. Adorable in odd ways.

I can honestly say that I don't think my dad deserves her as much as she loves him. But if I ever saw true love, it's the love that my mom has for my dad. And THAT is inspirational to me on all levels possible.

And I love her so much. It hurts.

Thankfully she doesn't know how to read blogs/facebook, so I can promise it now (where she can't see)...that ONE of these days when I can afford it, I'm going to make all of her dreams come true.

Natural High #3: Running.
Next to the Kiwanis Family, there is no other greater activity I could have been more grateful for than running.

I'm so glad I started running in high school because that is something that I will take away with me for the rest of my life.

It makes me feel strongest -- physically and mentally -- no matter what. Even if I'm tired it'll be an instant jolt to my system to wake up and remember that yes, my lungs are strong. Yes, I have these abilities. Yes, I should take care of my body. My health.

Running makes me more aware of my surroundings and myself.

I definitely can say that there's LOTS of room for improvement (in terms of physical endurance and shape and what there is to learn and improve on), but...man, if you've got legs, use them!

If you've ever ran a race where you're just waiting...waiting for the gun to go off before your heart stops...you know what that rush is like. Where your pupils start to dialate for just a few moments. Runner's high.

If you've never ran a race in your life...oh my god.

When you're in that environment, it's like...damn. Hella cool people.

And here's the fun tid-bit:

The most precious equipment you need for this sport is YOUR MENTAL ABILITY.

Final Note:
Gosh, I really can't say that this blog makes very much sense in anyway nor that I'm 100% sure where my life is going at the moment, but I think as long as I have the ability to truly appreciate some of God's finer gifts in life...everything will be ok.

Thank you for giving me the ability to cry.

Instability...it ain't so bad

In the last few months I've come to terms with my instability.

I think we, as human beings and children of the earth, for the most part fear instability. "The greatest fear is the fear of the unknown."

Why? Because "instability" tends to have a negative connotation and we are future-dwellers.

When we are in this state we are "off balance". Things are unsure. Things are not "perfect" or "in order".

I've come to realize that this has been one of MY greatest fears: lack of order and security.

And at this point of my life...while I still have the opportunity and ability to develop myself personally and professionally, I've come to terms with my instability.

All through college until this point did I fear not finding a stable career.
All through high school until this point did I fear not finding a stable relationship...

But, you know, I consider myself lucky to have gained a whole lot more experience having worked 5 different gigs in the last year alone rather than having one full-time position: sales at 24 Hour, field marketing with Clif, promo with Marin French, computer show thanks to Helen <3, and now gladly coordinating the March for Babies with the March of Dimes. All on top of researching, networking, endless cover-letter-writing, and interviewing for a gabagillion different companies.

I've met some pretty flipping awesome people along the way, bonded with colleagues, and learned lots.

Sometimes I feel like I'm wasting my education, but then I've also come to realize that the greatest things I actually took away from college were my experiences and the people I met. Though, evidently, it's great to be well-educated, too. (Duh). With that said, I would rather spend the next few years of my life career hopping doing EVERYTHING in the food industry (where I've decided my passion lies greatest): from bottom to top, left to right. I wanna be a sponge and suck it all in while I still have the physical and mental ability to do so!

And the same goes for relationships. Quite frankly, it ain't so bad being single. I've had the opportunity to meet some pretty epic people along this path, too. Experienced great love and great heartache, and have learned 10 x's more about myself and people's wants and needs than can ever imagined. I'm not saying that I don't miss having someone reliable to hold at the end of the day, but for now, the instability is quite refreshing and needed for me to develop into my very best self :). What's that line John Mayer sings? Oh yea:

And this is not to say
There never comes a day
I take my chances and start again
And when I look behind
On all my younger times
I have to thank the wrongs
That led me to a love so strong.

Yea.

Instability.

It ain't so bad. In fact, it's quite adventurous and life enriching in my opinion.

If you have the opportunity, you should try it out.