For My Friends.

A few months ago...early June to be precise, a few of my good friends and I traveled for the first time together. As we sat down and ate our final meal of the trip..we reminisced a bit on all that happened that weekend..and then, at the end of the meal when it came time to pay, one of our friends cheerfully said he was going to pay for it all.

And that's when I started crying. I was pretty tired and worn out by then...so the emotions were pretty high strung...but I cried at that moment because for the longest time I've been looking for someone...someone to love. ONE person to love, to spoil, to travel with, to be there for, to take care of, to share my dreams with, and have that person share their dreams with me, to cook for, to eat with, to validate me...to appreciate me for all that I am...for better or for worse. To want to wipe my tears away. To listen to my day. To want me to listen to theirs'. To admire and to inspire.

All this time...I've been searching for The One. All this time...we do that...BUT...God went above and beyond and gave me not just one...but SEVERAL "One's" that have graced my life this year.

I write this entry as a reminder to myself that there is no need to search or wait for just one special person...but rather...to be loved by a few beautiful friends. That is life enriching. And a blessing that should never be overlooked.

*Cheers*

To many more wine down Fridays.
To cooking and food escapades.
To traveling.
To spontaneity.
To "living in the moment".
To being each others' #1 cheerleaders.
To dreams.
To the bucket list.
To the ugly truth.
To spoiling each other.
To overplanning and being care-free.
To long email chains and chat sessions.
To venting.
To memories.
To our future babies playing and growing up together :).

I love you!!!

"How to Live Before You Die"

Memoirs of an inspirational person - Steve Jobs
http://www.ted.com/talks/steve_jobs_how_to_live_before_you_die.html

• "...you can't connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something — your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. This approach has never let me down, and it has made all the difference in my life."

• "Don't lose faith. I'm convinced that the only thing that kept me going was that I loved what I did. You've got to find what you love. And that is as true for your work as it is for your lovers. Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven't found it yet, keep looking. Don't settle. As with all matters of the heart, you'll know when you find it. And, like any great relationship, it just gets better and better as the years roll on. So keep looking until you find it. Don't settle."

• "... for the past 33 years, I have looked in the mirror every morning and asked myself: "If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?" And whenever the answer has been "No" for too many days in a row, I know I need to change something.

• Remembering that I'll be dead soon is the most important tool I've ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life. Because almost everything — all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure - these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important. Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart."

• "Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't be trapped by dogma — which is living with the results of other people's thinking. Don't let the noise of others' opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary."

:)

I haven't been this content in a long time...and I have no clue what will happen in 2 months...

But I am happy this very single moment.

I'm so happy to have moved out to the city. I love San Francisco so much. The food, the people, the beauty that it embraces.

I'm so happy to be able to see my friends regularly (Joe, Alice, Tony, Jenny). I am so thankful for my craaazzzy, genuine, giving friends.

I am so happy for the people that barge their ways into my life. Like Joe Lee and Alice Tam...even though I'm damn tired they will still come knocking on my door no matter how busy we are.

I am so happy for the reunions...Kathleen, May <3 Cheriz, see you Thursday :).

I'm so happy I've finally got a smart phone. Hah.

I'm so happy I even enjoy cleaning my new apartment!

I am so happy to be able to just...do whatever whenever. Like...not know what you're doing after lunch..wander aimlessly through a few wine, grocery stores, and random lil hole in the wall places..then end up in a random park and just lay on a bench to watch the clouds drifting over your head for about 1.5 hours while reading Anthony Bourdain.

As we say...for now: *cheers to the good life*

I am grateful. Everything is ok for now. Thank you so much for this brief interlude of bliss.

Landmark Education - BUT vs AND

A dear fellow life-contemplation friend of mine invited me to a "Landmark Education" forum this evening and after about 3.25 hours of reflecting and crying, I'd like to share some of the enriching contents I learned with you:

1. Have you ever had your heart broken? (yes) Have you ever been rejected? (yes) This knowledge is what's weighing you down. It leads to living in the past and a fear of being fully open to new life experiences.
   
   
2. Have you ever told yourself "I want to stop hurting?" or "I want these hardships to end"? When you stop running into hardship, you stop experiencing and learning from all that life has to offer.
   
   
3. Problems are just "boxes" of how you look at life. And it's how you approach these problems that can either empower or weaken you. One way this can be explained is how you express your "problems" and the big word that weakens you is the word "BUT".
   

For example, fill in these blanks:

I want _____________, 'BUT' _________________.

"I want my relationship to be better with this person, 'BUT' they are narrow-minded."

"I want to fall in love again, 'BUT' I'm not meeting the right person."

"I want to travel, 'BUT' I'm broke."

"I want to get in shape, 'BUT' I don't want to exercise."

Now....let's convert the word 'BUT' to 'AND'.

"I want my relationship to be better with this person, 'AND' they are narrow-minded."

"I want to fall in love again, 'AND' I'm not meeting the right person."

"I want to travel, 'AND' I'm broke."

"I want to get in shape, 'AND' I don't want to exercise."

By simply changing your wording...your view and interpretation of the so-called "problem", you find that your problems are NOT definitive. When we say 'BUT', we automatically link what we want with another statement that negates our true potential. When we say 'AND', the two statements become completely separate facts and as a result, your WANT becomes something you CAN control.

Thus...step 1: is to change our approach and attitude towards what is thrown to us and how we want to shape our lives.

AND with that said...I'm going to take the next week to practice substituting my "BUT's with "AND"s.

:)

San Francisco Enlightenments

After missing my bus and already running late, I caught a taxi today to meet up with some friends for lunch. My taxi driver asked me how I was doing and where I was from and after a few general statements about the weather and how I just moved to the city, I asked him how his day was going. In which he replied "Today? Today is as great as every other day. And every day is great because I am here in this beautiful city and have both my legs and both my arms. There are thousands of people who want to be here where we are, but we are here. Alive and able to enjoy what we have. And that makes today great."

Taxi driver? Or guru? I'll never know.

Regardless, those few sentences were sincerely appreciated. Because every day...as we age and grow older and get more submerged into the agony and pains of the world...we tend to become more "realistic" aka: pessimistic. Jaded almost. But, how can there be room for more bickering, war, and discrimination...when shit like tsumanis, earthquakes, global warming continue to happen? The world has so many natural disasters already... why must human-kind add to it?

And so...despite all this crap...this humble little taxi driver man has a glimmer of hope. To be TRULY grateful for that of which we DO have and to truly make the most of the fact that we are SO lucky to be where we are.

And so with that said I have to say that SF has been pretty darn amazing to me thus far. And, as a Bay Area native who has spent way too much time in a car and/or at home, I've certainly taken it for granted.

My little neighborhood in San Francisco, Nob Hill, besides being close to the awesome Polk street with its cute restaurants and coffeeshops, is just a 15 minute run down to Fort Mason/the Marina. It takes my breath away to be able to run over that little random hill and towards the Golden Gate Bridge. And then when I'm running back...lo and behold Ghiridelli Square and its missing neon letters and the backdrop of the pier and fisherman warf in all its glory...gee golly this is MY home! My Bay Area! It's like *slap me silly* someone wake me up?!

And then the other day I walked to the Moscone center and it only took 30 minutes!

And today...on my trek back to my new home, I walked along the cable car path along California street and to the Grace Cathedral. Seeing that the place is opened to the public, I walked into the cathedral and was in complete awe...the stained glass windows and incredibly high ceiling..the sheer size of the place was astounding. The floor labyrinth. The murals, and the lighted candles spread throughout the entire church.

As someone started gently playing the piano and another started softly singing some hymns, I sat down near the alter for about 30 minutes and kid you not I closed my eyes and cried. Tears welled up as I sat there in complete solitude reflecting on all that has happened and what is to come.

I know moving doesn't seem like such a big deal for many, but to me...to move to the city has been something I've been longing for for so long then to do so and for all of it to just happen at the speed of light reminds me that I really do need to make the most of each moment and to fully experience all that life has to offer.

I have both my legs and both my arms, and There is SO much to see and SO many people to learn from.

And so, dear taxi drive, I'm right there with ya. "Alive and able to enjoy what we do have."

A moment of content.

Dear World,

It's 8:40pm on a Friday night, and you can officially call me a coffee shop nomad.

Finished up my Wanderlust Recap at Jumpin Java along with my Chai Iced Tea.

Now, I'm sitting in Farley's on 18th between Missori and Texas...somewhere in the oh-so-beautiful San Francisco, by my own choice with... me, myself, and I.

(Thank you Amber and Aimee for helpin me find the place!)

Ate a Chocolate Chip Walnut Cookie with a cup o latte (latte art and all).

Just finished "Eat Pray Love" (GREAT book).

I am working 4 odd jobs...at random hours and random days.

Life is chaotic and my emotions have never been so all over the place.

But...Sam Cooke is singing "what a wonderful world this would be" in the background.

So, for now, I am content :).

Thank you for this moment.

Love,

Gail

A weekend of Namaste

Just got back from Wanderlust -- a yoga retreat held in Squaw Valley, CA. It was mostly for work, but I thankfully had the opportunity to embrace the atmosphere :). There's something intensely special about being in the middle of nature where your pure intention is to focus on your inner being.

With that said, I internalized quite a bit in the last 4 days (which somehow feels like a month...) and would like to share with you my newly discovered thoughts and revelations:

THOUGHTS:

1) "Stop waiting for happiness."
- So often in our lives we wait for the future to be happy. Whether it's that perfect job, relationship, special occasion, etc., we fixate on the tomorrow's and what is to come. But, we need to stop waiting. And seek happiness from within today. ~ Love Meditation

2) "60 seconds of being angry is 60 seconds you will never get back."
- The time you spend being angry at someone, stressed, or upset is better spent being relaxed and relieved. Breathe deeply. And let it go.

3) "Trust the energy. Lie back. And receive."
- Sometimes we try to give so much of our emotions to satisfy others. We are intuitively givers. You can search all over the world to find someone who is the most deserving of your intentions, but then you'll realize, that it's really yourself. Trust the energy -- and be the receiver for once.

SELF-REVELATIONS - Gail today: Epiphanies after 6 hours of driving, 4 days of yoga mantras, running at high altitudes (feelin like your lungs are gonna burst), eating uber well, working hard, and sleeping little:

1) I've got an old soul. Physically, I'm 24. Emotionally, I'm 34. And I love it :).

2) I'm idealistic and not very grounded in reality, and pretty darn proud to say it! Because I am capable of still holding onto it in a world where many have lost it. I've come to understand that life is not perfect and that shit constantly happens (and will continue to happen!), yet I NEED to believe that everything will be ok and that ultimately things happen for a reason. When I feel overwhelmed by my problems, I NEED to look up into the sky and realize that my problems are minuscule to those of the vast universe around me. I need to learn from my mistakes, traumas, and each and every experience and failure - I NEED to iinternalize them into something more beautiful and meaningful to me. This is how I cope. And to me, this is my 'ideal'.


3) I'm a home-body. Somehow staying up late and running a muck isn't that appealing to me anymore. Must be the old soul thing.

4) My greatest personal weakness is lack of patience. Which is the root of many, many things I need to polish up in my life.

5) I am in love with earthy people :). I am in love with one-on-one conversations about emotions, internal turmoil, and epiphanies.

6) These are my revelations as of today August 2, 2010 based on my experiences and the people whom I have connected with greatly in the last year. I may change in the next year with new experiences and people that I come across, and that's ok. I welcome it with open arms.

Evolution of my soul.

Summer Dance Music 2010

Well, it's officially Friday so might as well get the partEy (in my head) started!

Some good tunes to get ya in the groove:

• "I Like It", Enrique Iglesias ft. Pitbull: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X9_n8jakvWU
  
• "DJ Got Us Falling in Love Again", Usher ft. Pitbull: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oBhj-Tv4WHI
• "Dynamite", Taio Cruz: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b4EwFzg9r10
• "Somebody to Love - Remix", Justin Bieber ft. Usher: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SOI4OF7iIr4
• "La La La", Auburn: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y4-fuceJUmA

:) Enjoy

The point of quotes

You know all those sayings people have stored up their sleeves in the case that bad shit happens?

• "When the tough gets going, the going get tough."
• "Don't quit."
• "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger."
  
• "Everything happens for a reason."
• "Something so much better is in store."
• "When one door closes, another door opens."

They are quotes for a reason.

Supposedly they work. Otherwise why would people keep saying them?

So I'm gonna keep on believing in them.

And not quit.

Things could always be worst. Right?

Really. There's no use looking back if you gave it all you've got. And there's not much point in saying that "it's not fair" because well, no one ever said life was fair.

Just...need to cry it all out and move on with it.

Get over it. Resilience. Suck it up.

Don't waste your tears on things that don't deserve your time.

Save your energy for things that ARE willing to fight for you.

Because you're better than that. You KNOW it. You ROCK it.

Because you KNOW you're better than that.

Love is...

Love is...the ability to make someone's day infinitely better? The capacity to feel like you want to be there for someone through all their days, good and bad?

Some say that you can't love someone until you know yourself.

But, you know what?...will you EVER completely know yourself? We're constantly growing and our lives are constantly being shaped through each experience we gain. We never stop changing. So, how on earth could you ever completely know yourself let alone someone else?

Impossible. But what IS possible is being able to accept and feel that spark. That passion. That fire.

Why deny a feeling like that?

Why should something so profoundly simple to feel...be so complex to understand?

Maybe it's a naive thought. But what if...what if we just remembered why we fell in love in the first place. What if we just FELT it? What if we ignored all those "circumstances". What if we just let our emotions run wild?

All rules set aside. There are NO rules to this feeling.

You never really KNOW why. You just feel it. And then you just...let go. Your heart takes off like a speeding bullet. You can't stop it. It's gone. You can't control it. It's this unbelievable rush you get when no words are spoken.

And knowing that I can make your day infinitely better..take away your stress for the day...and the next. And the day after?

"Love as though you have never been hurt before..."

God has given me the ability to love over and over again...and though I know the repercussions of when things go wrong, I welcome it with open arms because I know how TRULY amazing it feels like when things go right.

If life is truly short, and we are to live for the moments, then I want to be able to love every single second.

Those little inspirational moments.

So. You know. I'm a pretty emotional person.

There are days I have these great highs. And then there are other days I have these great lows. And when you're in your mid-20's, live at home (or not), and are trying to decide on how exactly you'd like to shape you're life -- there seems to be ample time to think about this kinda stuff. So bear with me. There's a point to this rant.

I was talkin to my long lost penpal in Spain who lives my parallel life, but on the other side of the world the other day, and we came to the conclusion that it's better to have an erratic way of life than to say that "No sir, my life hasn't changed very much in the last 20 years."

Perhaps we are just obscure creatures who enjoy dwelling way too much on the "big picture" and titilating ourselves on the most mundane of life's mid-20's conundrums...but, yea! We down with it!

Needless to say I've had this super great natural high driving on my own to/from Sacramento for work this weekend, and I'd like to attest it to a few inspirational things I've only recently been able to internalize. Thus, in the name of my blog, I'd like to share them with you:

Natural High #1: My job with Clif Bar & Company & The Staff: You know, I don't think I ever wrote a post about Clif Bar (whom I've interned + part-timed with for just about 2 years now). And I've gotta state the obvious: i-n-s-p-i-r-a-t-i-o-n-a-l. From the product they make to how the business is run to the very core of it all: the employees. Super cool and truly a business with heart. What makes me say this? (No, it is not purely the reason that I would love like no other to work full-time for this company). Because of the staff they hire! They TRULY embody the brand and EVERYTIME I finish a Clif event, I feel the EXACT same high I get from finishing up a Circle K project.

You know...? That high at the end of a community service project/banquet/first gen/board retreat/etc. your team plans where you're workin side-by-side with your fellow CKI'ers? Like, you leave feeling really physically tired from doing some pretty hefty work of some sort, but you KNOW you've done some good in the world while getting to know and work with some genuinely awesome person. Because on some level they've inspired you on some level or another.

Point in case: This past weekend while working the Nike Women's Fitness Festival up in Sac, I stayed with my co-worker (+ her hubby + her 3 awesome dogs) in Davis. Needless to say this woman is SO COOL. For one thing, she lives in a castle!!! (Which she and her husband built together -- aww kinda moment). Second thing, she has 3 lovable dogs (a pug, beagle, and german sherpard! -- another awww moment). Third, she and her husband get up every Saturday at 5am in the morning to go running!!!!!!!

Together with her hubby, they cycle, run, play tennis, do yoga, and so much more! AND she makes kick-ass oatmeal!!! (Along side the fact that she is simply a wonderful person to talk to about relationships and life). She's so chill, easy-going, and hospitable.

My co-worker makes me wanna go to sleep at 10pm on Friday nights, just so I can go workout hardcore every wee hour Saturday morning, too.

Inspirationally active.

LOVE IT.

But yes...gosh, people like some Clif staff people just blow your mind.

Natural High #2: Mom
My mom is crazy. And if any of my siblings are reading this I'm pretty sure I'm gonna get scoffed at or made uber fun of later...but honest to God, I really love my mom.

Because she's nuts. She has the ability to guilt trip like NO freakin other. The ability to make me cry. To make me feel horrible about myself and want to rip my hair out. She pushes all of my buttons and there are times that I feel so incredibly angry at her for being so freakin attached to my dad. And I constantly argue with her and she NEVER has any justifiable reason for anything except "because I said so", but you know what?

She also has the power to make me laugh in the middle of crying over a stupid argument. She'll come into my room and be the BIGGEST dork ever. She'll grab my tiara (don't ask why I have one...), put it on her head and start making funny faces at me just to make me laugh for no good reason. She can spend the ENTIRE day cooking up a storm (You would NEVER go hungry in my house).

She's the true definition of patience, genuinely lovable, and whoever I chose to marry one day would be so lucky to have a mother-in-law like my mother.

Because she's a lovable nutcase. Adorable in odd ways.

I can honestly say that I don't think my dad deserves her as much as she loves him. But if I ever saw true love, it's the love that my mom has for my dad. And THAT is inspirational to me on all levels possible.

And I love her so much. It hurts.

Thankfully she doesn't know how to read blogs/facebook, so I can promise it now (where she can't see)...that ONE of these days when I can afford it, I'm going to make all of her dreams come true.

Natural High #3: Running.
Next to the Kiwanis Family, there is no other greater activity I could have been more grateful for than running.

I'm so glad I started running in high school because that is something that I will take away with me for the rest of my life.

It makes me feel strongest -- physically and mentally -- no matter what. Even if I'm tired it'll be an instant jolt to my system to wake up and remember that yes, my lungs are strong. Yes, I have these abilities. Yes, I should take care of my body. My health.

Running makes me more aware of my surroundings and myself.

I definitely can say that there's LOTS of room for improvement (in terms of physical endurance and shape and what there is to learn and improve on), but...man, if you've got legs, use them!

If you've ever ran a race where you're just waiting...waiting for the gun to go off before your heart stops...you know what that rush is like. Where your pupils start to dialate for just a few moments. Runner's high.

If you've never ran a race in your life...oh my god.

When you're in that environment, it's like...damn. Hella cool people.

And here's the fun tid-bit:

The most precious equipment you need for this sport is YOUR MENTAL ABILITY.

Final Note:
Gosh, I really can't say that this blog makes very much sense in anyway nor that I'm 100% sure where my life is going at the moment, but I think as long as I have the ability to truly appreciate some of God's finer gifts in life...everything will be ok.

Thank you for giving me the ability to cry.

Instability...it ain't so bad

In the last few months I've come to terms with my instability.

I think we, as human beings and children of the earth, for the most part fear instability. "The greatest fear is the fear of the unknown."

Why? Because "instability" tends to have a negative connotation and we are future-dwellers.

When we are in this state we are "off balance". Things are unsure. Things are not "perfect" or "in order".

I've come to realize that this has been one of MY greatest fears: lack of order and security.

And at this point of my life...while I still have the opportunity and ability to develop myself personally and professionally, I've come to terms with my instability.

All through college until this point did I fear not finding a stable career.
All through high school until this point did I fear not finding a stable relationship...

But, you know, I consider myself lucky to have gained a whole lot more experience having worked 5 different gigs in the last year alone rather than having one full-time position: sales at 24 Hour, field marketing with Clif, promo with Marin French, computer show thanks to Helen <3, and now gladly coordinating the March for Babies with the March of Dimes. All on top of researching, networking, endless cover-letter-writing, and interviewing for a gabagillion different companies.

I've met some pretty flipping awesome people along the way, bonded with colleagues, and learned lots.

Sometimes I feel like I'm wasting my education, but then I've also come to realize that the greatest things I actually took away from college were my experiences and the people I met. Though, evidently, it's great to be well-educated, too. (Duh). With that said, I would rather spend the next few years of my life career hopping doing EVERYTHING in the food industry (where I've decided my passion lies greatest): from bottom to top, left to right. I wanna be a sponge and suck it all in while I still have the physical and mental ability to do so!

And the same goes for relationships. Quite frankly, it ain't so bad being single. I've had the opportunity to meet some pretty epic people along this path, too. Experienced great love and great heartache, and have learned 10 x's more about myself and people's wants and needs than can ever imagined. I'm not saying that I don't miss having someone reliable to hold at the end of the day, but for now, the instability is quite refreshing and needed for me to develop into my very best self :). What's that line John Mayer sings? Oh yea:

And this is not to say
There never comes a day
I take my chances and start again
And when I look behind
On all my younger times
I have to thank the wrongs
That led me to a love so strong.

Yea.

Instability.

It ain't so bad. In fact, it's quite adventurous and life enriching in my opinion.

If you have the opportunity, you should try it out.

What is happiness?

My friend asked me today, "What's your goal in life?"

In which I respond, "To be happy."

He further probes, "So..ok...What makes you happy?"

*blank stare*

*contemplate*

List:

• Having something to look forward to.
• Independence.
  
• Achievement.
• Progression.
  
• Perseverance towards success.
• Desire.
  
• Reuniting with loved ones.
• Laughter.
• Compassion.
• Empathy.
• Long, encompassing hugs.
• Coming home...parking my car...staring up at a clear night sky and seeing all the stars glimmering brightly above.
• Cool nights.
• Skyline views.
• Diversity and acceptance.
  
• Spending the entire day with my little sister.
• Having deep life conversations with close friends.
• Running on an overcast day.
  
• That natural tightness you feel in your muscles after a good workout.
  
• Cooking something beautiful.
• Good eats.
• Vanilla frozen yogurt with oreo pieces and peanut butter...*salivate*
• Food Network time on the couch.
  
• Driving by myself.
• Genuine compassion.
  
• Smiles.
• Berkeley Kiwanis.
• UC Berkeley Circle K.
• Circle K Board members -- people who will always seem to understand where you are coming from...
• Meeting someone new and realizing "Wow. We have so much in common! Let's be friends!"

Empowering the "Womyn" Within

Well...I don't know how much of a true "feminist" I have ever portrayed myself as...if at all, but the last year's worth of experiences - from work to personal relationships - have seriously gotten the wheels in my convoluted brain churning and the desire to do more.

Having had the opportunity to work with LUNA Bar.

Hosting LUNAFEST.

Working with women groups all across the UC Berkeley campus.

Having had the opportunity to work within the Gender Equity Resource Center.

Spending an absurd amount of time with my strong-headed aunt, patient and incredibly anxious mother, and my giving little sister...and of course...the endless talks about relationships and love with my best girlfriends.

Taking the time to focus on MY body. Making it stronger inside and out. Physically. Mentally. Amongst other women. For who? For me. No...not for you. For ME.

And now...working with the March of Dimes...an organization that focuses first and foremost on the mother and her child.

Somehow I'd like to be more involved within the community of empowering women physically and mentally and helping each other realize that we should NEVER need to depend on anyone else in our lives to make us truly happy. To find respect, comfort, and beauty in our own doings.

Affection is beautiful. Dependence?...is the bane of our existence!

So...I start with this note: "Womyn." We have the greatest potential to create beauty - from the soul which permeates through our bodies and the community.

And on that note...go watch the Vagina Monologues this year somewhere. Riveting.

Oh, and now that you've finished reading this post, please enjoy the following:
Ruby Veridiano-Ching "Pretty"

India Arie's "Video"

=)

"Mr. Right Now"?

This excerpt of an article that popped up on CNN Lifestyle this morning poses a question to my inner "Go-Girl" self. This isn't typically one of the usual things I'd post on my happy blog, but I'd be interested to see what other people think about this. Feel free to comment and debate if you so chose. (Particularly the last paragraph).

"Should You Settle for Mr. Right Now?", Lori Gottlieb

.........................

"Gottlieb interviewed an array of experts -- sociologists, behavioral economists, social psychologists, and statisticians -- who presented evidence about...why women are fundamentally the choosier sex.

There are so many really wonderful men out there, men who want commitment, who want to be married, who are attractive and smart and interesting," Gottlieb says. "They may not be movie-star attractive, they may be awkward at first, they may not fit our cultural image of who Mr. Right or who Prince Charming is. But we shouldn't pass them up. Look what happened to me."

What happened to Gottlieb?

Educated and independent, she is gorgeous, vivacious, and sharply witty. She went to Stanford Medical School; she has written several books, two of which have been optioned by Hollywood. In other words, she is such a fantastic catch that she assumed she would never have to settle, that a Superhusband -- romantic, brilliant, baggage-free -- would emerge from the ether and sweep her into an eternally fulfilling marriage.

But, she says, she missed the boat -- several times -- by focusing on potential mates' flaws and expecting too much. Now 42, she has a 4-year-old son, courtesy of a sperm donor.

"We are taught as young women in this culture that compromise is a bad word," she says. "We tell each other: 'You go, girl. You get the best. You deserve the best.' It's not so much narcissism as a false cultural perception of our worth. We want the ten, because we think we're a ten. But we're missing the fact that we're not. Nobody is. Men have flaws, but we have flaws, too."

..............

In conclusion, personally...I think Lori makes a good point regarding the fact that "no one is perfect".

But...I'm only 24! So, for now...I have the right to be choosy and to experience more different types of loves, and most importantly to develop myself into what I feel to be my very best! "Life is TOO short to be partially happy!"

As for "settling" for the "Mr. (or Ms.) Enough" at one point of your life...it depends on when and whether you truly want to be married or not.

If you feel the NEED to be settled and married ASAP, then SURE...you will probably end up "settling". I mean...that's why the terminology was coined, right?

And that's probably why most people DO end up "settling" at some pre-determined age penciled in by society. Because our friends and family around us are getting married and you're like "crap! must settle!" or "awwww...I want that, NOW, too!!!"

But I think ultimately, the key to truly being happy with another is to know yourself completely first. Then...you're not "settling", you're "accepting".

You both are truly happy with each other for exactly who you are and loving every single ounce of each other - the sexyness and the faults!

And to get to that stage of making a decision that concrete, you're certainly going to have to be well aware of your wants and needs...and most importantly yourself.

Ultimately, it all comes down to your ability to understand your feelings and happiness level. Also...I think the more logical you are, the less you feel with your heart. Call it "wishy washy", but it's true.

And that, my friend, requires a mélange of intense self-love and empathy for your fellow human beings.

"Live Like We're Dying"

It's time for another inspirational song post!

"Live Like We're Dying", Kris Allen.

Sometimes we fall down and can't get back up
We're hiding behind skin that's too tough
How come we don't say I love you enough
Till it's too late, it's not too late

Our hearts are hungry for a food that won't come
We could make a feast from these crumbs
And we're all staring down the barrel of a gun
So if your life flashed before you, what would you wish you would've done

Yeah, gotta start
Looking at the hand of the time we've been given here
This is all we got and we gotta start thinkin' it
Every second counts on a clock that's tickin'
Gotta live like we're dying
We only got 86 400 seconds in a day
To turn it all around or throw it all away
We gotta tell 'em that we love 'em while we got the chance to say,
Gotta live like we're dying

And if your plane fell out of the skies
Who would you call with your last goodbyes
Should be so careful who we leave out of our lives
So when we long for absolution, there'll be no one on the line

Yeah, gotta start
Looking at the hand of the time we've been given here
This is all we got and we gotta start thinkin' it
Every second counts on a clock that's tickin'
Gotta live like we're dying
We only got 86 400 seconds in a day
To turn it all around or throw it all away
We gotta tell 'em that we love 'em while we got the chance to say,
Gotta live like we're dying

Like we're dying
Like we're dying
Like we're dying
Like we're dying

Yeah, gotta start
Looking at the hand of the time we've been given here
This is all we got and we gotta start thinkin' it
Every second counts on a clock that's tickin'
Gotta live like we're dying
We only got 86 400 seconds in a day
To turn it all around or throw it all away
We gotta tell 'em that we love 'em while we got the chance to say,
Gotta live like we're dying

You never know a good thing until it's gone
You never see a crash until it's head on
All these people right when we're dead wrong,
You never know a good thing till it's gone

Yeah, gotta start
Looking at the hand of the time we've been given here
This is all we got and we gotta start thinkin' it
Every second counts on a clock that's tickin'
Gotta live like we're dying
We only got 86 400 seconds in a day
To turn it all around or throw it all away
We gotta tell 'em that we love 'em while we got the chance to say,
Gotta live like we're dying

Like we're dying
Like we're dying
Like we're dying
Like we're dying

Yeah, gotta start
Looking at the hand of the time we've been given here
This is all we got and we gotta start thinkin' it
Every second counts on a clock that's tickin'
Gotta live like we're dying
We only got 86 400 seconds in a day
To turn it all around or throw it all away
We gotta tell 'em that we love 'em while we got the chance to say,
Gotta live like we're dying

"What Makes Women Happy"

I came upon this article via a friend's facebook (yay for newsfeed) and it's prompted me to share it with the rest of the world as well.

"What Makes Women Happy". Posted by Tiffany O'Callaghan

Article Focus: How women can cultivate happiness. (Based on several 'happiness' journals. Go figure! Look at this journal =P).

Highlights:

• "One thing that blocks [happiness] flow is self-consciousness. If you're really worried or anxious about whether you're achieving it, then it's not going to work for you...So, it's important to look at the things that are causing us anxiety. Some of those things we're not going to be able to do as much about, but some of them we can."
  
  Thoughts: To be happier, I need to avoid negative people and situations in my life that makes me feel like shit.

• "...a lot of women make choices based on how they saw their mother's choices working out, how they saw the choices of the women elders in their lives working out. There's some rebellion in that, but there's also some deep reflection."
  
  Thoughts: The deep reflection referred to here, I feel...requires analyzing generational and cultural differences, too. But, obviously, it's so hard to be able to separate it all when your greatest role model is right THERE.
  

• "...happiness [defined] as the capacity to rejoice in the midst of suffering...Finding joy in the midst of suffering is always going to be the key."

  
  Thoughts: C'est la vie. Makes you more grateful for the things you do have...
  
  
• "the simple fact of concentrating on their own happiness, and paying attention to their own happiness actually increased their sense of well being"
  
  Thoughts: Focus on the positive!
  
  
• "people who regularly express gratitude...are generally more content."
  
  Thoughts: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cbk980jV7Ao
  

• "If we really do need a place to vent, that can be helpful, but I don't think it improves our mood that much to make a habit of just letting out our negative emotions."
  
  Thoughts: I agree 110% Thus this blog. My blog is now validated. Thank you.
  

• "Finally, you decide, OK, maybe I am a dork, and maybe that's OK."
  
  Thoughts: Dorks FTW!
  

Read complete article here: http://wellness.blogs.time.com/2010/02/03/what-makes-women-happy/#ixzz0esfr3sdN

True Love

Define "True Love."

True Love: The ability to appreciate someone for all that they are...no matter what.

I wanted to take this year to truly focus on myself, family, and true friends.

And through my close friends (you know who you are)...I have finally learned what TRUE LOVE really is.

I am sure I've written a gabigillion entries on this already...but I wanted to take the time once again to thank my close friends...you know who you are...for your true love.

My friends...are genuine.
Quirky.
Weird.
Off-the charts.
Sweet.
Beautiful.
Loving.
Giving.
Understanding.
Amazing listeners.
Greatest hug givers.
Affectionate.
Gushy.
Unique.
Strange.
Lovable.
Open-minded.
Open-armed.
Lions and lionesses.
Honest.
Hard-working.
Perserving.
Determined.
There for you when you need them...
There for you when you don't need them...
Genuine genuine genuine genuine.

Thank you for loving all of me...the witty and the shitty.

I love you guys SO much. Every single bit of you.

You deserve the very best. Just for being you.

I love you SO SO SO SO SO SO MUCH.

There is hope.

A friend once told me, "There's a blue sky above the clouds."

Probably the best way someone has ever phrased positivity with such a simplistic metaphor.

Quite often...people are perplexed by why I smile so often...so much.

Maybe it's the happiness within Kiwanis that has engraved its optimism within my soul for the last 10 years.

No...that can't be it. Just part of it. Because my cousin tells me she's been playing the "I bet you can't stop smiling!" game with me since way back when.

Hmmm...

I dunno. But regardless...stuff happens...

Things beyond your control. Things that you may have had control over, but somehow slipped...

Mistakes. With serious consequences.

And when crap like that happens...will you still have the courage to smile?

Your life can change in an instant.

But...deep down inside...I'm still the same person. Right?

Just...wiser? Been there. Done that. Resilient.

On the bright side of things...through these tough situations, you realize who your true friends are. Who's really going to be there for you when you don't have the power to smile anymore. The people who are really going to give you a reason to smile again...

And then of course, you start really thinking about the things and people that REALLY REALLY matter. Like, the important stuff in life you need to focus on.

*slow nod*

C'est la vie.

Life is too short to regret...but long enough to make smarter choices.