Just Live.

"Whatever happens, happens for a reason."

(This must be the 2nd or 3rd time I've started a blog with that).

But this time I'm serious.

I think it's days and moments like today where one needs to realize that you should stop trying so gosh darn hard to make something happen.

Like, yes, I have goals.

Yes, I have dreams.

But, stop fretting so much.

Just do it. Give it your all. Do the best that you can or care to do.

And it will be done.

And when it comes. It will come.

Enjoy life. To its fullest.

No worries. No regrets.

Remember, you are only 23. And you have the rest of life to live. So start LIVING IT!

<3

Go me!

A balloon and its string

A great friendship is like a balloon and its string.

When my string is gone, I am floating alone...aimlessly. I go and I go -- sometimes up and up, sometimes down and down -- I just keep floating along. Everything becomes almost automatic.

But then we meet up for a meal or even just an IM or a short "hello!", you tie me down momentarily. And I thank you for that.

I think the most valuable friendships are the ones where...you don't need to talk every single day because even when you are apart or don't talk for a few days, weeks, months, or even years...it only takes a few moments to get back into that same groove and niche again.

And to remember that the reasons you're such great friends is because of that connection you guys have that will never change - under any circumstance.

It's nice to know that...when everything in life is changing - for the good or the bad... someone will consistently be there to remind you that...you're alright and everything will be ok.

Pre-Marathon Thoughts

My anxiety has fluctuated within the last two days.

Mostly for one reason: I've set expectations for myself.

In 2006 I ran the LA Marathon - my first marathon - going in with no real goal except to complete the race and not walk one bit. Surprisingly, I crossed the line in 4 hours and 23 minutes. (10:01 minute/mile pace).

This year -- I want to beat my first time. And not just by a minute. Ideally...23 minutes. Meaning I need to shave off about a minute/mile.

My goal is to simply run under 4 hours. And I will do the best that I can to achieve that goal.

*deep breathe*

I registered in January, and I've been running/training myself 4-6 days a week since then. I've run up 12 miles. This is my 2nd marathon. I ran long distance in high school. Mentally, I am there. I know what's expected.

75% mental. 25% physical.

My right calve was aching earlier this week. A bit sore after a long run, but after some good tiger balm/bengay/placing a warm towel on it/massaging/having a personal trainer perform the "self myl-facial-release" on my legs -- the soreness is down to 5%. The rest of my body feels fit and ready to go.

Marathons -- humans aren't naturally meant to run 26.2 miles. Our bodies aren't built for this kinda thing. And that's what makes the 20,000+ people running tomorrow's San Francisco Marathon/Half-Marathon...cRaZy.

And I'm one of them! =P

What's my motivation to do it again?

1. The challenge. Physical endurance. Mental endurance. "Pain is weakness leaving your body".
2. The unspoken unity. 20,000+ people running towards the same finish line.
   
3. The energy. Adrenaline, sweat, pure physical drive.
   
4. MY BODY. 26.2 miles of feeling every ounce of my muscle work to to it's extreme capacity. Breathing. Living. Making the most and pushing your body beyond limits only a handful of people on this planet dare to venture.

"The only things that stops you from not doing it is....NOT doing it."

"If you say you can't, you won't. If you say you can, you WILL."

Thank you to everyone for your support thus far.

And good luck to my fellow marathon friends-- May, Sam Bau, Andre, and Schro.

*closes eyes*

Good Luck.

Confessions of a Shopaholic

"I have a relationship with someone who never declines me..." [relative to a credit card!]~ Confessions of a Shopaholic.

The movie didn't superly make sense nor was very realistic...but come on, it's a chick flick!

Feel good stuff all the way :).

Favorite/cute scenes:
- When Luke purchases the green scarf back for Rebecca and pulling her in for a kiss with it.
- The two of them attempting to salsa dance together (hilarious)
- "You speak prada...?!". Cute.
- The soundtrack for the movie was pretty fun and upbeat. Very chick flicky and something I'd totally play on a good girls night out!

Best Song: "Takes Time to Love"

It takes time
Living in a world when you don't know who to trust
Next time
Slow it down there ain't no bill you have to rush
It'll be fine
Takes time
To love

And now ima tell the truth, when it comes to you my lady
And its a Miracle
You have found the conscious baby
I had a plan on leaving
You came and gave a reason
And now I know the reason why

But I know how you feel
It's hard to see whos real

And I really enjoyed the score by James Howard. It's a great mix of everything! :).

Enjoy!

Come What May

While driving from 24 to Clif today, it occurred to me that by next Monday I will be back to the drawing board -- plopped on my couch/some place with internet scavenging for a full-time job that I will be inspired to commit myself to.

And today, while slightly re-evaluating my future, I realized...it's been a few months since the last time I wrote "I have no idea where I will be by this time next month!", but I still feel that way.

I really have no idea where I will be or what I will be doing with myself.

It's scary, but...this is the path I have chosen for myself since the day I sat on Sproul my sophomore year and told myself "I'm not going to be a doctor." I'm not going to chose the clear-cut route just because it's "secure" and simple. (Not that I'm saying being a doctor would have been easy by no means!).

I told myself...I'm going to work my way up. Even if I have to start from the bottom.

And if I have to bounce around...then...so be it.

Am I being picky? Even in this recession? Yes I am.

But there are times...like... these last few weeks where things become obscure and I'm like...what the heck am I doing with my life? Have I attained any of my goals? Am I closer to attaining any of my goals?

Of which I need to step back and remind myself that...I'm doing everything that I WANT to do that I CAN do at the moment.

"Come what may."

I will do the best that I can.

And enjoy all of life's blissful moments along the way.

5 Grab-and-Go Breakfasts

1. Peanut butter on a whole-wheat English Muffin with sliced bananas + a drizzle of honey
2. A snack bag filled with dried cereal, nuts, and fruits.
3. Two pieces of whole-grain crisp bread spread with soft goat cheese/whipped cream cheese and topped with slices of strawberries
4. A whole-wheat tortilla sprinkled w/shredded reduced fat cheese, topped with sliced green apples, and rolled up.
5. A whole-wheat pita stuffed with lowfat cottage cheese and sliced peaches or blueberries with a drizzle of honey.

~"The Food You Crave", Ellie Krieger

Gut Feelings

I quit one of my jobs today.

Why?

Because...even if it's a part time job...

I don't want to work at a place where I feel like...my job is meaningless.

I don't want to work in an environment where I don't feel like I'm being mentally challenged.

I don't want to work in a place where people aren't passionate about what they're achieving or driven for a purpose greater than just money.

I don't want to work for a place where the definition of success is "more money" or "more sales".

I don't want to work for a place where everyday I feel "off" or unhappy.

I refuse to continue complaining about my job.

Life is too short to be stuck doing something you could care less about.