Songs of the Month

1) "Angelina" ~ Tommy Emmanuel

2) "I Didn't Know My Own Strength" ~ Whitney Houston

3) "Smile" ~ Uncle Kracker =)

You're better than the best
I'm lucky just to linger in your light
Cooler than the flip side of my pillow, that's right
Completely unaware
Nothing can compare to where you send me,
Lets me know that it's ok, yeah it's ok
And the moments where my good times start to fade

You make me smile like the sun
Fall out of bed, sing like bird
Dizzy in my head, spin like a record
Crazy on a Sunday night
You make me dance like a fool
Forget how to breathe
Shine like gold, buzz like a bee
Just the thought of you can drive me wild
Ohh, you make me smile

Even when you're gone
Somehow you come along
Just like a flower poking the sidewalk crack and just like that
You steal away the rain and just like that

You make me smile like the sun
Fall out of bed, sing like bird
Dizzy in my head, spin like a record
Crazy on a Sunday night
You make me dance like a fool
Forget how to breathe
Shine like gold, buzz like a bee
Just the thought of you can drive me wild
Ohh, you make me smile

Don't know how I lived without you
Cuz everytime that I get around you
I see the best of me inside your eyes
You make me smile
You make me dance like a fool
Forget how to breathe
Shine like gold, buzz like a bee
Just the thought of you can drive me wild

You make me smile like the sun
Fall out of bed, sing like bird
Dizzy in my head, spin like a record
Crazy on a Sunday night
You make me dance like a fool
Forget how to breathe
Shine like gold, buzz like a bee
Just the thought of you can drive me wild
Ohh, you make me smile

#45 -- Rejection Alleviated by Comforting Words.

So, I unfortunately didn't get #45 today -- a job I seriously thought was "the one".

And because of the high expectations (though I attempted to be realistic) I found myself crying...a whole lot.

But the pain was alleviated by comforting words...

Nga: "...They are missing out!"

Peach: "It's ok, you'll find an even better job!"

Raymundo: "The perfect one is just waiting to be taken...by you!"

Helen: "Well think of it this way...how ridiculously overqualified would that other person have to be to beat YOU? right? so they're just a freak of nature. haha"

My Boss: "Well, don't give up. You never know what will come up. [Company] would be so lucky to have you full-time. As would any other company."

Thanks you guys <3 for taking the time to listen to me and wipe away my tears...virtually.

And so...the show must go on.

Not sure when...or how...but it must!

Continuing to look for something...I can believe in.

I found me!

This pic reminded me of...me. LOL.

And it made me smile. Reallllyyyyyyy biiiigggg

<3 <3 <3 <3

*happy sigh*

http://www.azuzephre.net/

Maintaing your shine in a rusty grown-up world.

Let's face it.

Reality...can be pretty darn ugly.

Check out some of today's headlines in CNN:

• Purpoted bin Laden tape: Obama can't stop war
  
• Body found in wall may be that of missing Yale student
• Kanye West grabs Swift's mic at MTV Awards
• Girl, 12, forced to marry dies while giving birth
  
• Pregnant teen, shot, and killed at bus stop

And that's just a few selective headlines....along with usual -- the economy sucks and global warming is creating this funky ass weather.

And through all of this, we try to stay positive by telling ourselves that...

"There will always be good and bad days."
"Everything happens for a reason."
"In the end, everything will be ok."

But I will be honest with you, it's hard to keep your head up when you're constantly being knocked down.

When a majority of things around you (well...at least the things the media seems to want us to focus on!) seem to be falling apart.

It's like...applying for jobs. And getting rejected a couple 40+ times...and still trying to maintain your positivity and integrity every time you step in to the next interview to remain motivated. How...how do you do that?

It's like I've forgotten what it means to be idealistic anymore.

There's a reason why I don't particularly like reading the news and becoming vastly involved in politics. It's not apathy per say. It's...gosh darn it! I don't want to pop my happy bubble. Why can't we all just get alonngggggggggggggg?! (That's pretty naive isn't it?).

So let's face it. This is reality: The world is never going to change. And I have no control over anyone except for myself.

And I must... must maintain my shine.

It starts from within. And it only gets harder. But, that's when I need to try my hardest. And be resilient. And keep my heads up. And realize that I'm trying the best I can, and if results aren't showing...try harder! And be a little bit more patient.

And that's the purpose of my blog: "Live to Love. Love to Live." Mental getaway? Sure. But more importantly....a place where I can turn the shitty into witty. (Haha...)

It comforts me atleast...to know that...there are people...like Kiwanis. Circle K. Key Club. Volunteers of all sorts. Who continue to push through the negativity and TRY.

Feeling Content

So, I'm still looking for that full-time job that I can truly believe in and so I can start earning money so I can help my parents pay for stuff...

But I'd like to reflect on the contentness of my week culminating to my feel-good mood at the moment. So here goes:

• Watching the Serena vs. Clijster match live. Despite the unsportmanship actions of Serena, it was a pretty darn good match!
• Watching mom, Clijster beat Wozniachi today to win the US Open's women's finals
• Learning that Honyin plays tennis
• Receiving a message from Jess <3
• Seeing Virginia Carpenter get installed as D2 LTG.
  
• Attending the Kiwanis LTG Install and sitting at the CKI table -- catching up with Joe and Josh =)
• Eating Josh's honey butter.
  
• 1st Gen CKI Meeting = memories. Seeing familiar faces at CKI meeting.
• Interview at a possible full-job place. *knock on wood*
• Making good eats with Mom and Will
• Dessert...twice in one day.
• Cinnamon bun!
• Sundae
• Pitter patter of the rain
  
• Golden Gate Park
• Harry Potter #5...so...very close to finishing!
• Syrah + Dark Chocolate
• Rearranging my room
• Getting a bigger bed! (Well..futon)
• 2 trips to IKEA in one week
• The smell after it rains
• Driving my car
  
• Peach Nipitnorasate
• Looking at pictures of food on Yelp
• Being a source of decent advice
• Having a consistent and reliable person in your life
  

A-Z

I guess I'm posting this random trivia thing on my blog because in a way...it makes me happy in that it's chill and random. Bwahaha. Enjoy!

1. A – Available/Single? Content.

2. B – Best friend? Peach Nipitnorasate (aka: sister). Althought she denies it.

3. C – Cake or Pie? Why not both? Fine. Cake.

4. D – Drink of choice? Clif Quench

5. E – Essential item you use every day? Email. It's a MUST.

6. F – Fears? Getting rejected.

7. G – Gummy Bears or Worms? Gummy bears.

8. H – Hometown? Berkeley. Well...technically El Sobrante. But grew up in Berkeley.

9. I – Indulgence? Peanut Butter + Chocolate confections...so...bad...but oh so gooooooood

10. J – January or February? January duh! New Years + my birthday!

11. K – Kids & their names? I'd like to name one of my future kids, Apple. That would be fun. Hehe.

12. L – Life is incomplete without? Food. Love. Family. Friends.

13. M – Marriage date? One day.

14. N – Number of siblings? Dos.

15. O – Oranges or Apples? Apples! Fuji and Gala in particular =D.

16. P – Pet Peeves? When people sign off of chats without saying bye and/or respond at a much slower rate than you do.

17. Q – Quote for today? I've been told I have crappy memory...So, I found a great rebuttal quote today actually that made me laugh! --- "The advantage of a bad memory is that one enjoys several times the same good things for the first time." ~Friedrich Nietzsche. HA!

18. R – Reason to smile? Good eats, great people.

19. S – Season? Autumn - amber leaves + warm sweaters + that ooy gooy tingly feeling inside

20. T – Tag 4 People? Mmmm...Peach because you're a butthead. Helen because I miss you. Raymundo because...I dunno -- you're weird and I could go for George's again. And Will because you keep me entertained.

21. U – Unknown fact about me? There's a fat, but adorably cute, panda sitting on my bed named Gizmo.

22. V – Vegetable you don't like? Fresh papaya...yes I know this is a fruit...but I can't think of one otherwise...It tastes like vomit...

23. W – Worst habit? I'm still working on my punctuality...

24. X – X-rays you've had? Dentist.

25. Y – Your favorite food? Mediterranean food. The whole shebang.

26. Z – Zodiac sign? Capricorn

Old School Thoughts

This article in CNN, "Skin whiteners labeled racist", reminded me of the top 2 old school thoughts embraced in Asia...even until today:

1. Light skin = more beautiful
2. Being skinny as a stick = more beautiful

*shakes head*

Old school thoughts!

Bah!

Not that I'm suggesting it wise to go out in the sun and get a tan without SPF or that we all eat ourselves to obesity, but sheesh...it pains me to death that the people (particularly women!) in Asia STILL strive to use products and find crazy ways and contraptions to make themselves look lighter or "whiter" and to be the size of anorexic. Why? WHY?!

It's things like this that make me grateful for a country where running freely in the sun while turning a shade of golden medium and building muscle mass...is sexy.

*nod*

Thank goodness!

Home Is Where the Heart Is

For the longest time I was certain that I wanted to go as far as possible. Live anywhere...BUT here.

I was born in San Francisco. I went to elementary school-college in Berkeley.

I've been wanting to get out of this bubble SO bad. Change. Scenery. People. Lifestyle...me.

But on Sunday, August 16th...as we were driving back up from KDCON in San Diego, and I saw the sunset along the 5...and as we made it onto the 880 just as the night fell...I realized...

"Home is where the heart is."

When you look up in the sky here in the Bay Area...you can see the stars brightly.

You want nature? Go hike at Mt. Tam.
You want bougie? Just cross the bridge to SF and shop at Bloomingdales or hit up Infusion.
You want diversity and culture? It's here.
You want amazing food? It's everywhere here!
You want clean air and drinkable tap water? Right here baby!
You want history? Here.
You want reliable public transportation? BART. AC Transit.
You want political/liberal? You're here.
You want bodies of water and bridges? It's here!
You want gorgeous weather where you go through all 4 seasons in just one day? Here here here.

And the list goes on.

Now...I'm not opposed to moving if the opportunity comes along -- IE: if a career with great benefits were to call my name towards another location. I'm not opposed to change. I'm not opposed to traveling. In fact. I'd LOVE to see the rest of the world! I LOVE the feeling of getting on a plane and seeing new cites and experiencing new adventures.

But, I just want to say that...

For once in my life...I can say with 110% assurance...that the Bay Area is the most amazing place on earth to live and to love. And this...is MY home.